Can I get a few... nice, supportive,...
No one cares though… So I doubt it’s going to be happen.
The love of my life is dead, my best friend/cousin...
Where the hell does the food end and the Walmart begin?– Me
Happy Birthday, Jake.
I love you so much. I still can’t believe you’re gone… It’s less than a minute into the 16th and I can’t hold it together… I miss you so much…
Me: There's the limo. It was a wedding. There's a bride.
Dad: Must be gays! It's the 4th of the July. It's a gay holiday on Secret Life!
If Obama was trying to sell me a ShamWow, I would definitely buy one.– Me
Fern: There's that crazy bird that wakes us up.
Me: Punch it.
Vicky: It's a good thing you live right down the street from me.
Me: No. Not right down the street. It's more like a hop, skip and a jump away.
Vicky: Well, then I'll hop, skip and jump on over.
Me: You might get hurt. Then you'll need more monkey parts!
Me: Pull into the circle!
Mikey: What? No!
Me: You need to!
Mikey: But I can't. I'm not supposed to.
Me: I'll be late if I don't!
Mikey: Well, maybe if you stop fixing your hair in my car window like you've been doing for the past 4 years even though you can't see anything, you would be on time.
You should get a job here, Lana, at the dentist office. Everyone here is all...– Ryan trying to calm me down
I'm extremely depressed right now...
The absolute love of my life is dead. I don’t know what to do… I don’t trust myself to not do anything “stupid.” My world has been completely torn apart by this. I’m lost. I’m not strong enough to make it…
"Somebody That I Used to Know" is really helping...
I don’t know why I put Hogwarts. I meant sandwich.– Me
Am I going to have to wear a dress to the 5-star restaurant “Grammy...– Me
About to leave to go to Providence to see Marilyn...
You’re pretending to drive the Budweiser Clidesdales.– Jay
Welcome to Shadow’s liar… Is it liar or lair?– Mikey
Mikey: How are we going to sleep in here?
Me: I'm going upstairs.
Mikey: To sleep in Shadow's bed?
I’m planning on sitting in your driveway while eating these Munchins. I...– Andrew
Me: I told my dad that we're together right now, and he asked if we're smoking weed.
Andrew: Yes. Yes. We're definitely smoking weed, Bob.
Those are dancers. I can tell by their faces. And their hair, too.– A woman we’re sitting next to
Where’s the other crip?– Dad talking about Quinn on Glee
That just really upset me.
Spending the day with Ryan tomorrow will cheer me up. We’re doing something off my 2012 bucket list and off my Life bucket list.
I want to chase those butterflys on all fours.– Rob
What happened to “I can’t eat this. Want to see my genie in a...– Melissa
Mom: Don't forget the ambrosia.
Me: Not like anyone is gonna eat it.
Chris: Because its such a big hit.
[[MORE]] Self Harm Survey 1. How old were you when you started self-harming? Younger than 4 4-5 6-7 8-9 10-11 12-13 14-15 16-17 18-19 20-21 Older than 21 2. How often do you self-harm More than once a day Once a day Several times a week Once a week (More or less but it has been known to fluctuate.) Two or more times a month Once a month Several times in a year Once a year ...
Laura: I don't know how I feel about sour cream and marshmallows together.
Aunt Joan Mary: They're soft and mushy!
She went to school for psychology in the head.– Aunt Linda
Ladies and gentlemen, 26 million people suffer from diabetes, and many others...– Scot Haney
I really hurt my legs yesterday. I can barely...
Grass baskets. Just like the Easters of our youths.– Dad
So you want me to massage your thighs? What is that code for?– Fern
whathappenedtomyfaith: now that Frank Iero is a father of 3 and you’d think that people would start feeling weird about wanting to have sex with him
Congratulations to Frank Iero on the birth of his...
What a very exciting announcement.
Miss I-Don’t-Play-Temple-Run is playing Temple Run.– Melissa
I feel spiffy with these shoes on.– Me
I'm getting married.
Now that I noticed the similarities, I think it’s odd that this guy is...– Dad
My dad thinks that the candy man from Willie Wonka...
Script Frenzy is so much easier than NaNoWriMo
I’m already 20 pages in.
Our waitress sounds like Joan Cusack. I'm in love...
Fern noticed that I kept asking her more and more questions just to hear her voice.
Mr. Happys? Let’s go there. Oh wait. Nevermind. I think it’s a strip...– Me
I never realized how big a Carrie Underwood fan I...
Watching her Invitation Only session, and I’m singing along like it’s my job.
Our water is brown, and I'm not sure why.
What I do know is that a load of dishes in the dishwasher is washing in said brown water.
Jay: Can the three of you do me a favor?
Jay: Could the three of you try not to sustain anymore injuries before, say, 9:00?
Me: Why does this apply to me?
Jay: Oh please! You broke your toes, then rebroke them, then there wasn't enough rooms for your toes on your feet.